Happiness Lost? Heart Missing?

She is my everything...

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 13:52:05 +1100

She is my everything...: I’m very lucky to be able to spend my days with someone who is truly...

Home

Sat, 19 Jan 2013 14:23:47 +1100

There’s a brief moment I relish in, that ideal time before entering the doorway home and being...

In all honesty, time stands still whenever you’re not...

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 01:37:47 +1100

In all honesty, time stands still whenever you’re not around. Life fails to flourish in your absence; and the passion that is present with your pulse, it dissolves each moment you’re not present.

- heart missing?

To savour the time... and beauty

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 06:38:02 +1100

The distance mocks him, as he enchantingly stares at the horizon, the sky shifts colours as the...

Time is just a construct

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 07:01:38 +1100

There was no indication at all that time would cease to exist, it blitzed by at such a pace that it...

My reflexes have been dulled this evening, as I escape within...

Sat, 13 Oct 2012 08:11:22 +1100

My reflexes have been dulled this evening, as I escape within the thoughtful confines of my mind. Today wasn’t really the same, I believe, without the interventions of the woman who owns my heart. Conversations have no depth without counterpoints, and the silence envelops more than just my behaviours, but our small micro world we have created.

It’s only a few days that we’re apart, but the notion of not missing her is instantly invalid.
She is incredible. The woman who delivers more than she’ll ever know, who fills up the empty apartment with her presence…
I miss her so. This feeling can’t subside at all nowadays, as I’m hopelessly and passionately in love with her.

- heart missing

Short and sweet...

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 08:23:34 +1000

She doesn’t mind his bruises or the casual losses of balance, nor does she mind the odd...

It was here where I was contemplating the near demise of a life...

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 04:54:44 +1000

It was here where I was contemplating the near demise of a life I built. It was the only calm that I had at that point in my life, being alone at this beach and feeling the waves push my feet into the sand, watching the horizon and thinking. I just stared out into the abyss, thinking how this vessel of water is so amazingly beautiful and yet so incredibly daunting. I felt like I was drowning and that the current was dragging me down, as if my ankles were held and being cordially invited to peruse the sea beds. It wasn’t a moment where I thought of self-harm, no far from it, it was a moment that was free from the peril that was everything else my life had to offer and failed to deliver. It was close to a bittersweet misery I had, one where I felt helpless, defective and close to ruin.

It was here where I asked the universe for help. I recall thinking “If only I could be as happy as right now, right here in this place, all of the time?”. Whilst the soft waves continued to push my feet into the soft sand with each swell, I ran through the laundry list of improvements I would make. The dead weight that would be purged, the facets that need to be confronted and the yielding to my own desires.

That was then, close to 4 years ago. I was a different person then.

Yesterday I visited the beach again, and sat on the sand dunes and just thought. Even though I visit this beach as often as possible, it was yesterday where I felt a full circle connectivity. I sat there and reflected, that list I had mentally written long ago was all crossed off, incredibly birthing a new life. I ran through it all, all the new memories, all the new experiences, the new milestones, the brilliant reasons to wake up and attack, the natural ascension into an amorous existence. I honestly laughed and smiled so much, that if anyone saw me, they would automatically assume I’m insane.

So naturally, I thought it was time to think up a new list, not one of drastic changes, but rather progressive ideas of evolution. The change I desired then truly had arrived, but now I want to continue with the incredible momentum that was bestowed upon me.

I know that the momentum will include my heart, my love, my passions and obviously the grrrrl. I cant deny that at all, but I plan to withhold the mystery for brilliant reading sake. Time will tell when I’ll sit at this shore again and feel the same deep rationalisation, but I know that when it happens again; I’ll be as happy as the very moment I am living right now.

- Missing heart?

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

Sat, 18 Aug 2012 22:18:13 +1000

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you...

To my friend.

Sat, 18 Aug 2012 22:09:00 +1000

To you, my friend, I can honestly be your guide to heartbreak. I can humbly and proudly show you my...

"That summer eve his heart was light With lighter step he trod the ground And life was fairer in..."

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 23:50:00 +1000

“That summer eve his heart was light With lighter step he trod the ground And life was...

Totally motivated to write again, now its time to stop being...

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:44:11 +1000

Totally motivated to write again, now its time to stop being lazy.

Gameboy pocket used TETRIS.
It’s Super Effective!

Love Woes on the Rails.

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:28:43 +1000

He sits on the train, watching the outside world blur by quickly, he feels like he is on a time...

Thank-you. From the bottom of my heart. Sunday the 12th of...

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 21:20:38 +1000

Thank-you. From the bottom of my heart.

Sunday the 12th of August, I buzzed myself into work with my security pass, and I walked through countless security details and doorways to eventually find my way into my workplace. I carried in a picnic basket, it was packed by my better half, the girl. Within this picnic basket was food and goodies left over from a spectacular lunch the day before that made me cement the ideal that, I, am the very most luckiest man around.

As soon I walked in, I was greeted by once again, great friends. I presented them the wares of foods and drink, which was warmly welcomed with open arms and empty stomachs. It was a welcoming I truly enjoyed, and the closure of one of the greatest weeks of my life.

Over the past week and a few days I chose to divulge in the celebration of 28 years of death aversion. Each day that went past was spent with friends I cherished and activities that made me feel alive and human. It ranged from spinning pizza bases and playing trouble, shoveling dirt and talking shit, eating healthy meals at great locations with friends and family, etching skin with new ink of birds and freedom, snapping photos and video with my grrrl, jumping around and making noise on stage, celebrating with Pastizzi and Canoli, wearing neon, bowling and shooting fools with laser guns to topping it all off with a picnic like spread for my sterling co-workers. I can’t help it. The past week was incredible.

I truly feel that nowadays I am very grateful about everything that I have, from my amazing friends through to my brilliant family. It was a very long process of disappointments, failures and hard to fathom tales to reach this point where the simplest gestures bring about the greatest joys. And with each year, I feel that I’ve got so much to live for and to enjoy.

So with that in mind, I want to thank all of you, my friends, family, followers, readers and well wishers. This past week was amazing, and I can’t believe how much impact our singular souls have made.

And obviously, the last thank-you goes to the grrrl. It’s this woman who has opened up the world to me, has shown me how to lift myself above the superficial and to be the man that I’ve always truly desired to be. My heart skips beats, and she’s the reason why.

http://youtu.be/2oW0tuiqca0

http://youtu.be/Vp6Dnt1bidg

Ok. I promise soon enough to write to my hearts content, to stop being lazy and to give you all the romance fixes you need. That’s a promise I plan to keep.

Stay awesome in the meantime.

- Missing Heart?

Untitled

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:37:00 +1000

The embers burn slowly as the fire exhausts itself out, it’s a cold night underneath the scattered...

Black spots & egg shell white walls.

Fri, 18 May 2012 15:05:16 +1000

Each breath, is shallow. So shallow that his rib cage doesn’t even rise and fall as per...

Fade and Forget His feet ache relentlessly as each step...

Sun, 13 May 2012 02:17:00 +1000

Fade and Forget

His feet ache relentlessly as each step pushes forward,

the boils, burns, and cuts casually appear within the confines of his shoes;

as the battle of his skin and the leathers continue.

The journeys are long and arduous,

painful and continuous;

yet rewarding. Truly rewarding.

Whatever is left behind, is left behind for good he believes,

except the heart and love of a true beauty;

the one he calls his home.

The sweet scent of Nag Chiampa smoke,

warms his spirit when he’s too far to imagine,

rusty squeaks from the bed when he lies to sleep,

pint glass beer mugs filled to the brims with water,

photos pinned everywhere…

She is home.

Luggage can be left to fade and forget on roadsides,

like rust sets to age onto the chasis of metal,

but home is where the heart is,

and anywhere with her will be hospitable.

- Heart Missing?

The kindest cup of tea. I am slightly under the weather at the...

Sun, 06 May 2012 23:54:38 +1000

The kindest cup of tea.

I am slightly under the weather at the moment, with what feels like a bizarre flu. It is such an annoying illness, as it doesn’t merit a need to complain, nor does it facilitate a hasty call for emergency services. It’s just a flu. And it is what it is, a stick wedged in the spokes of progress.

At the moment, I am in a pair of track pants and an inside out white long sleeve shirt (which I was too lazy to fix, as I struggled with the complexities of a common shirt). I can only imagine my face looks like a dropped pie, oozing with oddness. Thrown under the covers of a queen sized bed, under enough layers that can thaw frostbite, if that could ever happen.

Yet, something about this context I am in feels amazing, and it starts with the grrrl in the next room fixing me some rocket fuel tea. She found me earlier in bed after work, looking and feeling like death crossed my grave, and just nestled next to me. We spoke and ignored side effects. She questioned into how I was feeling. She embraced me, even against my suggestions of quarantine. She asks if I need anything. I just lie there in bed, in my inside out shirt and nod no whilst muttering “No thank-you” in a tone that resembles Barry White on a very off day.

She then left the room and started fixing tea.

I was never used to this treatment, as I feel I am very independent. It always stemmed in a way that I never wanted to place a burden on anyone at all for the things I need. Yet tonight she saw through that facade, and fixed me this tea.
The tea.
Wow.
It is like the nectar of gods.

She’ll know sometime soon that I truly needed this amazing hot cup of healing. She will also know soon that at this very moment, I really needed her, and she delivered me from the mess I found myself in. She will know soon enough, that she has yet again stole my heart for what can be the millionth time. And she’ll know how lucky I really feel right at this very moment.

I really owe her a great amount. But I’ll repay as soon as I’m done with being over-dramatic.

- heart missing?

Inspiration hits us at midnight, where we decide to pose for...

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:27:31 +1000

Inspiration hits us at midnight, where we decide to pose for photos, and capture it on expiring film.

She doesn’t know it, but she is my one true source of inspiration.

- Heart Missing?

Conversation wasn't fleeting, it just wasn't necessary

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:17:52 +1000

It’s 6:48pm in the evening. I have found myself sprawled awkwardly on the couch, my head is...