It’s 6:48pm in the evening. I have found myself sprawled awkwardly on the couch, my head is anchored on the armrest, my back is sinking into the couch and my legs are planted on the floor. I fell onto the couch in this position out of exhaustion from lack of sleep and an attempt to dispel time by hopefully catching a quick nap before having to drive to work. Alas, sleep wasn’t willing to wash over me, as I am exhausted but not tired.
So I just laid there. Just thinking and not moving. My body felt like it was a series of rusted and heavy cables that push a machine around, and it was failing and has fallen into a position to forever remain. I felt just like that, a gutted machine with no urge for repair or movement.
She came from the kitchen and sat on the end of the couch, the part that remains not hijacked from the failed machine that I called my body. She resided and ate, and conversed. I found it hard to continue conversation, the rust that took over my body also took over my mind also. So I just lied there and listened and awkwardly hummed what was answers that made no sense at all.
She came along and planted herself next to me on the couch, within the space that was left, and just embraced me.
No words were spoken at all.
Conversation wasn’t fleeting, it just wasn’t necessary.
I still felt like my physical state was close to having death wash over me, but I knew at that exact moment that I was lucky, happy and hopelessly in love with this girl.
- heart missing?