I’m very lucky to be able to spend my days with someone who is truly incredible and warm hearted. Someday I’ll repay her for everything she has provided me, but for now; this can be a small start.
- Missing Heart?
3 There’s a brief moment I relish in, that ideal time before entering the doorway home and being welcome by the girl. It’s an instant solace for my mind and a warranted ease in my being. The doubts and worries of the day are just trumped and disregarded, where my mind toiled in whilst driving home.
It’s just perfect.
So now, as I’m about to set foot home, bag on back and key in lock; I can’t wait for the embrace and kiss that welcomes this tired being.
It honestly always feels like home.
- heart missing
In all honesty, time stands still whenever you’re not around. Life fails to flourish in your absence; and the passion that is present with your pulse, it dissolves each moment you’re not present.
- heart missing?
The distance mocks him, as he enchantingly stares at the horizon, the sky shifts colours as the long day fades away slowly. He is wondering about her, imagining her presence, desiring her and counting the hours before dissecting himself from the separation and losing himself within her arms. Never before had he known what it was to miss anyone as much as he missed her, to love so abundantly and exhaustively; like anything else that ever has eventuated ceases to even exist or register as a blip in his radar.
But what occurs to him unwittingly and strikes quickly, in that moment of his despair and contemplation, is how she thinks. If she was there with him, she would casually remind him of the world they exist in. To savour their time and the beauty they interact with so casually and without qualms. She would sit next to him admiring the sun fade it’s light for the day through a kaleidoscope of triumphant colours. And she would sit there happily, just admiring, not saying a single word, smirking as the glow lights her delicate features and maybe chuckle in delight a sound which would warm him. He would glance over and just be without thought and simply happy, lost in her beauty and joy, lost in the moment and awake.
At that point, he watched the final moments of the sunset, where the orb of light dissolves behind the horizon and fades the sky into the night, thoughtless and full of a perfected hope. As the stars slowly peered through the sheet of remaining daylight, he picked himself up and walked away, content in the thought of his love and luck. He then began to count the steps and kilometers before he found himself hopelessly lost in her eyes again.
- Missing Heart?
There was no indication at all that time would cease to exist,
it blitzed by at such a pace that it had seared into the mind quickly.
730 days, a few hours and fleeting minutes was all the memories contained,
yet they are the greatest memories ever experienced
by anyone at any given point, at any given time and at any given place.
Time is yet nothing but a construct of society,
a rule that we follow through each day to its end.
The silver lining resides in the energy we posses
the amount of years we possess within our bodies,
the niceties where we find our entwined souls.
Time is a construct, but our lives are our possession that we made malleable.
- Heart missing?
My reflexes have been dulled this evening, as I escape within the thoughtful confines of my mind. Today wasn’t really the same, I believe, without the interventions of the woman who owns my heart. Conversations have no depth without counterpoints, and the silence envelops more than just my behaviours, but our small micro world we have created.
It’s only a few days that we’re apart, but the notion of not missing her is instantly invalid.
She is incredible. The woman who delivers more than she’ll ever know, who fills up the empty apartment with her presence…
I miss her so. This feeling can’t subside at all nowadays, as I’m hopelessly and passionately in love with her.
- heart missing
She doesn’t mind his bruises or the casual losses of balance,
nor does she mind the odd tastes and bizarre mental patterns.
He doesn’t mind her quirky methods and her cute threats,
neither her perspectives and tenacity at exploration.
It’s just who they are. That couple.
The couple.
The days don’t seem so dark or dismal,
articles don’t contain its harsh punch,
rhetoric is gladly forgotten and cast aside.
What matters is themselves, nothing else.
She enjoys the integrations of social and business,
he enjoys her happiness at any given moment.
They feel right, like a perfect fit.
A simplistic appreciation of what feels right,
from the slink of a shirt to the depths in their arms.
A perfect balance of chaos, fun and happiness.
- heart missing?
It was here where I was contemplating the near demise of a life I built. It was the only calm that I had at that point in my life, being alone at this beach and feeling the waves push my feet into the sand, watching the horizon and thinking. I just stared out into the abyss, thinking how this vessel of water is so amazingly beautiful and yet so incredibly daunting. I felt like I was drowning and that the current was dragging me down, as if my ankles were held and being cordially invited to peruse the sea beds. It wasn’t a moment where I thought of self-harm, no far from it, it was a moment that was free from the peril that was everything else my life had to offer and failed to deliver. It was close to a bittersweet misery I had, one where I felt helpless, defective and close to ruin.
It was here where I asked the universe for help. I recall thinking “If only I could be as happy as right now, right here in this place, all of the time?”. Whilst the soft waves continued to push my feet into the soft sand with each swell, I ran through the laundry list of improvements I would make. The dead weight that would be purged, the facets that need to be confronted and the yielding to my own desires.
That was then, close to 4 years ago. I was a different person then.
Yesterday I visited the beach again, and sat on the sand dunes and just thought. Even though I visit this beach as often as possible, it was yesterday where I felt a full circle connectivity. I sat there and reflected, that list I had mentally written long ago was all crossed off, incredibly birthing a new life. I ran through it all, all the new memories, all the new experiences, the new milestones, the brilliant reasons to wake up and attack, the natural ascension into an amorous existence. I honestly laughed and smiled so much, that if anyone saw me, they would automatically assume I’m insane.
So naturally, I thought it was time to think up a new list, not one of drastic changes, but rather progressive ideas of evolution. The change I desired then truly had arrived, but now I want to continue with the incredible momentum that was bestowed upon me.
I know that the momentum will include my heart, my love, my passions and obviously the grrrrl. I cant deny that at all, but I plan to withhold the mystery for brilliant reading sake. Time will tell when I’ll sit at this shore again and feel the same deep rationalisation, but I know that when it happens again; I’ll be as happy as the very moment I am living right now.
- Missing heart?
Lao Tzu
To you, my friend, I can honestly be your guide to heartbreak.
I can humbly and proudly show you my scars, the many tales of woe that shocked my heart and being. I’ll show you those moments where I should have known better, but chose to follow my lust, lose myself and properly follow my heart. I can definitely dictate a lesson in how a human can fall from a great height and come to meet his maker. I can show you the the bottom floor, where a human dwells within his own thoughts so easily, it’ll be like a detailed map of the arteries of our city.
I can honestly show you it all.
But after that lesson in how you fall to pieces, I can tell you how to piece yourself up better than before. It’s in my nature. It can also be yours too, my friend.
The world as you would see it right now, is at it’s worst. But rest assured, that this is the beginning
I’ve learnt my lessons and I had paid my dues, and I created myself from the ground up. I am now the man I chose to be, the one I am proud of, the man that I imagined I would become when I was younger.
All I can say at this point is keep your mind, my friend, even if you feel you’ve lost your heart. Your heart may be missing, but you’ll find it again, maybe when you least expect it. It’ll inspire you to live yet again, maybe to sing, maybe to laugh, maybe to write. Just hang in there. Trust me.
Give it time. It’ll be all right in the end. And if it isn’t right, then it isn’t the end yet.
- Missing Heart? Definitely not.
